“Dad I think I can Evaluate the Players”
“My name is Goof or Mr. Goof and I have been told that I am one of the smartest Dogs on the Planet. I am part Border Collie and part Australian Blue Heeler. I had 32 toys before this past Chrismas when I got a life-size Cheetah, who I have affectionally named Wally. You know like Wally and the Beav. I really love my Wally and he slept with me last night.”
“It seems like I have a lot more toys than 33, but I can bring any one of them to Dad or Mom on recall and I also know 38 tricks, including shutting the door after I come back into the house after doing my business.”
“On a couple of occasions, Dad was working at his computor and he completely forgot that I was outside and I came back into the house, slammed the door and scared the heck out of him. I thought that was funny when he nearly fell out of his chair.”
“I can walk across the room on my hind legs and of course roll over on most anyone’s command. I learned those tricks when I was one. I will be nine years old on the Fourth of July.”
“In the morning, when Dad turns off his fan, I know that he is getting up and so I go into his bedroom to escourt him outside to get the newspaper.”
“Sometimes when Dad or Mom gives me a half a treat, I will stare at them for awhile, because a half treat is not the deal that we made when I was a little pup. If I do the trick or do my business, I get the whole treat. No ifs, ands, or buts. Also, when Dad eats a cookie, I always get half. I get the half that does not have the sugar on it, but that’s OK. I really like cookies.”
“Although I am one of the smartest and most talented dogs on the Planet, I still have been Flying Under the Radar with TV and movie scouts. I believe that I am similar to those players who play in my Dad’s All-American Bowl Game.”
“Dad and I were watching a TV show a few years ago and this Human was telling us about how many words that his dog knew and he said something like 750 words. I know every word that Mom and Dad knows and they can’t spell a word out, because I also can spell.”
“Mom and Dad found me at a shelter in Taos, New Mexico in 2005. I was seven weeks old and they obviously thought that I was not potty-trained so they were prepared for some accidents in the back seat on the way back home to Louisiana. I shocked them when I would tell them when I had to go to the bathroom and to their astonishment, there were no accidents on the trip back to Louisiana, my new home.”
“There is a photo of a Korelian Beardog on the internet and it looks like my twin brother. Mom and Dad don’t let me play or run with other dogs, but there are two Labs that live across the street and a Baton Rouge Police Dog named Debo that is our neighbor. The Labs sometime get loose and come to see me, and Debo barks at me all of the time when we both are in the yard, but we’ve never had a confrontation. I’m usually pretty good about that when I see Debo and his Human Policeman going to work.”
“Dad told me that he has had two previous dogs. One was a little Yorkie named Punk and the other was P.J. or Punk Jr. Dad told me that Punk lived to be 15 and P.J. went to Heaven when he was 18 1/2. Both of those dogs were little dogs with baby feet. I have Raptor feet. Dad and Eric, who was my first Human, were looking for a black Border Collie, but they found me. I am white with black spots and I have Raptor feet. Both Mom and Dad tell me that I was sent from heaven to be with them in their old age.”
“Every day at Lunch, I sit down with Dad to eat. Dad uses two spoons and two forks for lunch. One fork and spoon for me and one for him. Sometimes it’s pretty tricky using the right spoon or fork. I’ve seen him get mixed-up, but I would never tell him. I eat green peas, corn, and green beans off of my spoon. One day, Dad gave me twenty spoonfuls of peas and I was 20 for 20 without spilling a single pea. I thought that was pretty good. Also! Dad did not get mixed-up on spoons that day.”
“Oh yeah. I do not sleep with Dad at night, but every night at around 4:00 A.M., I will go into his bedroom, and ask him to take me outside to do my business. A couple nights ago, I really had to go and I showed up in his bedroom at 3:00 A.M.”
“Right now, I just got through with playing with my Wally and I’m waiting for some Strawberry Ice Cream.”
“I’m wishing all of you Human Moms with Dogs a Very Happy Mother’s Day from Max, Ginger, Wally and The Goof.”
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Charlie misses his older brother, Goof. I wish he could keep his toys like you do so well. He tears every toy apart the day he gets them. Don’t be so scared when you hear a bunch of loud noises in the next couple of days. It’s just fireworks. I love you Goof and hope you have a wonderful New Year.